some subhuman scum has stolen my phone from my person while i was walking; some thoughts.
how so ever dare you steal my phone you night-felcher of the soul, you vile incumbent crab, you poo munching pavement beast, a fool go with thy soul; whither it goes! you minge clipping fat scab human excrement faced disease that must be cut away, you racoon-rimming grotesque ceiling felcher with a rectangular monkey who deserves to rot so slowly he isn’t initially aware of the problem – show your sheep-biting face, and be hanged an hour! the most infectious pestilence upon thee!
Yours sincerely,
James
In light of this, if you are in possession of my phone and would now like to revoke your theft, please contact me:
:: james at jgubby.com