The original “beat-boxers” who were writing in the late 18th Century often said that the one thing limiting the progress of their art was the lack of functioning microphones. In some cases however the one limiting factor is a fundamental inability.
John is progressing modestly through the first few bars of The Entertainer. This is a phrase which, he tells me has been frequently used throughout his music career. Here the word career is used with the understanding that only the very strictest definition applies.
John openly admits to hating all forms of music. He says that most music is pretentious and unnecessary. When consulted on the subject, Mrs Valarie Trundle (his Piano teacher of 7 years) had only the following to say:
“The few kinds of music enjoyed by Joel are those written by calculating the arithmetic mean of the two boundaries of a road and ensuring that the recording is conducted entirely within this region.”
Unsure of what this means, and unable to evaluate the particular calculus employed by Mrs Trundle nothing can be concluded from her statement.
“Why is music all so awful, and those that play it so pretentious?” John mused one evening. Could this be a deeper social comment than initially appears? No, indeed John paws through some of the finest compositions of the century (”Fantasie impromptu”, Chopin; “Popular” from Wicked; “The Entertainer” by Scott Joplin) with the same reckless, wild abandon made popular by burglars when they first realised not everything on display was valuable. On one particular evening the whole of Wagner’s work was permanently dismissed as “one stinking heap of crap” [sic].
I will monitor his continued efforts, and updates will be posted when they become available.