A development has been made on the case of the letter bombs earlier in the week. The police have managed to narrow it down to all of the population.
Archive for February, 2007
Shocking development
Thursday, February 8th, 2007The Jams-O-Motive
Wednesday, February 7th, 2007I would like to introduce a new design of Underground locomotive, the Jams-O-Motive.
Many observant readers will have observed that Underground tube lines have a large cavity underneath the rails. As can be seen from this photograph of a Dock-Lands station, there is considerable space between the top track and the bed:
I realised this evening whilst travelling home that this could be used by people wishing to cower from the might of an oncoming train.
If, for example, a young boy were to fall into the path of an oncoming train, currently he would be offered a safe haven, as shown in this plan view:
To attempt to combat this problem I have added a series of randomly placed spoons to the undercarriage of the existing design. With the addition of what I call the Jams-O-Motive spoon underhangs, this situation is elegantly avoided:
The more astute amongst you may have already wondered: “What if the line ends up over-ground, where there are no cavities? Surely then the under-hung spoons would all break off, or worse, dig into the carefully laid gravel?”
This is of course correct! To prevent this from presenting a problem, the spoon mechanism could be modified as follows:
If you are from Transport For London please get in touch with me to discuss pricing:
:: james at jgubby.com
John Ayres on James
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007Hi, my name’s James and this is my weblog, LOL. I’m a liberal ‘wannabe’ computer scientist. In my spare time I write the most appalling Java, much to John’s distaste. Often I can be found playing the pretent-o-phone or ‘piano’ as it is known to less liberal comrades.
My Amazon wish-list:
Marxism for dummies (softback)
Mastering Visual Basic 6 Linear Alegbra Edition (hardback)
Frontlight for beginners (only lightback)
I’m selling:
Flannel (unwanted and unused gift)
Me and my piano (just completed)
Inflatable Jeremy Beadle (used)
The Bodge and the Ramsa
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007Inspired by the algorithmic musings of John I present The bodge and the Ramsa.
The Bodge and the Ramsa are sitting on the UCH stage after a long cultural show strike.
Ramsa: Bodge old dear, it would seem our placement together is most fortuitous, since as you may be well aware there is a big event in here tomorrow.
Bodge: Disregarding the impromptu, although probable coincidence of our enmeetment, dear Ramsa, was there something with which I might assist you?
Ramsa: Well, dear Bodge, tomorrow Thomas’ school are coming.
Bodge: Why on earth would I want to know that Ramsa, old bean, old pal?
Ramsa: Ah, you may recall that last year they only had Speakon connections on their amplifiers.
Bodge: I do recall that indeed.
Ramsa: Well Bodge, I happened to observe Speakon Cable, our old buddy from the Audio roadbox all coiled up alone the other day, and I couldn’t help but ponder. You do know I take only the antiquated speaker XLR connection.
Bodge: Really Ramsa, I must interject. You really are making no sense. What on earth has this to do with me?
Ramsa: I think I also have a three-quarter inch jack
Bodge: Quite, but is this of any consequence?
Ramsa: Wouldn’t it be jolly grand, Bodge, if somehow I could provide the sound reinforcement for the Thomas’ event?
Bodge: Oh, well yes Ramsa, that would be grand indeed. But many have fallen in pursuit of far less lofty goals than this. You don’t have Speakon, do you?
Ramsa: No. That, as well as a sub 50Hz cone is one thing I lack. But don’t you see, if you were to help me, Bodge, I could be part of the array! You could bodge between speakon and power XLR for me!
Bodge: But I bodge from XLR to speakon
Ramsa: Oh.
The original version of this did in fact go on for 5 brain numbing pages, but it has been truncated here for reasons of sanity.
Cheers John for the great inspiration. Keep up the writing, don’t ever give up your talent.
The Entertainer
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007I am listening to John attempt to play the entertainer (proper, full version) on the piano. This is causing me no small amount of discomfort, which leads me to the following questions:
Should programmers be allowed near musical instruments, and other avenues of creative or artistic disposition?
Should programming be done by musicians; well?
Answers on a postcard please.
Syntax Highlighting for Java
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007Seems there’s a wordpress plugin that uses enscript to highlight the syntax of code available, from this site.
Download the states-highlight.phps file from http://www.nextthing.org/code/wp-states-highlight/. Rename it states-highlight.php and put it in wordpress/plugins.
Also, get a copy of enscript.st from http://www.nextthing.org/code/enscript/ and put it in the same folder. Then enable the plugin in the admin thingy and it should work.
There is a readme in the folder of the first thing too, that tells you to put some CSS classes in various files. The admin one exists, but I couldnt find it in the layout one, so put it in the file of the theme.
Check there is enscript, too:
whereis enscript
on my fanny liberal mac it is in /usr/bin/enscript
Look at how fabulous it is:
Java:
import fixture.Fixture;
import junit.framework.TestCase;
public class Main {
public static void main(String[] args) {
Fixture f1 = new Fixture("Mac_500_Stage_Left_1");
Fixture f2 = new Fixture("Mac_500_Stage_Right_1");
}
}
C++:
#include
using namespace std;
int main(int argc, char*[] argv) {
while(true) {
cout << "John is a TERRBIBLE PINCHER" << endl;
}
cout << "Take that you most terrible pincher!" << endl;
return 0;
}
First post
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007I would like to state that the pervious post was *not* made by me. I never write instructions to myself in the pretentious 2nd person, and rebuke claims that I am a “C++ Homosexual”
Hello world!
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!